ATTENTION PEOPLE WHO READ THINGS: You are among those who can legitimately count themselves among the literate. Not just people with a grasp of reading, but who actively seek out material of interest, intrigue, even odd bits of silliness simply for its own delight. I prefer promoting to such individuals, so if you find yourself listening to these very characters, you too are a character of a different sort. Most likely an interesting one. (I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.)
There is of course Reddit, Cracked.com, and the Onion for such things; properly developed sites with writers who can reap the benefits of name recognition and find themselves with a regular following. And good for them. After all, who am I to indulge in a fantasy like attracting your readership of my ramshackle musings and wayward observations? I dare not invoke the achievements of great figures like the Wright Brothers as if a motivational would spur an ironic twist in my endeavors. I’d as well say, “If they could build an airplane, then I can get people to drink my independent brand of soda rather than Coke.” A notion likely fueled by another kind of coke.
Truly, it would prove futile to point to a successful flying machine as if the gesture would grant me such avian privileges. I doubt it’s what Orville or Wilbur intended. More likely, they knew a thing couldn’t be done if that thing were only talked about rather than tried so that it could actually be called a thing. Here’s the thing: if it suits your fancy, floats your boat, or just upgrades your proverbial carbonated beverage of the day from a 16 oz. pleasantry to a 32 oz. belchfest of fun, then I humbly invite you, Insert Name Here, to follow Thoughts of an Escapist, a weekly thing in which I post new things about things every Tuesday. Guaranteed fascinating thoughts or your sanity back.
Here’s your link and may Tuesdays be henceforth just that little bit more fancy, floaty, or drinky for it: http://valorealm.blogspot.com . If you like it, kindly leave a note expressing your appreciation in intimate, sexy detail, preferably with a dash of mood lighting, some red silk, and a fine glass of Chianti. Otherwise, you may resume your regularly scheduled internet life and YouTubings unabated, as if this episode of blog begging were only a zany dream.
Then again, they once said that human flight was only a zany dream… and while mine can’t get you to Cancun in a day, it is free of cost and disappointingly shitty food.